My Neighborhood- a primer in creativity
Almost three years ago I was dragged kicking and screaming from my home of 25 years in the West Village. Well it wasn’t quite that dramatic except in my psyche. The brownstone I had been renting for all that time was going to be sold and I had no choice but to relocate. I was miserable and looked everywhere to find someplace that made me even a smidgen as happy as living there had, I didn’t think it was possible and was alternately angry or comatose. I focused lots of my misery on Marc Jacobs as he was omnipresent and I was certain if he hadn’t opened 40 or 50 stores around the corner, I could still afford to live where I wished to. It was an awful time. But, then I got lucky- I came upon Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn, and while I did swear that I would never be one of those obnoxious outer-boroughers that went on and on about how much they love being out of Manhattan, I have fallen deeply, and madly in love with it. A particularly fetish of mine has become the front gardens that Carroll Gardens is famous for, I adore them.
The amazing part is, each front garden is almost identical in size, the houses are set back from the street about 30 or 40 feet and the space before the front doors is around 20 by 20 square give or take a few feet. What an outrageous and eclectic array of choices my neighbors have made! It’s truly astonishing and amuses me no end in my wanderings. I choose a different way home every time I go out shopping so I can encounter a new variation.
It’s an obvious metaphor I know (what we all do with more or less the same space), but I couldn’t resist sharing it with you:
Here’s what you start with.
Some keep their gardens with homespun appeal,
while some Carroll Gardeners grow minimalist, elegant odes to nature.
Several grow vegetables.
There are a lot of Zenish habitats,
so Zen, there are Koi ponds
or just perfectly-balanced rock gardens.
There are hunting lodges,
monochromatic wildflower fields,
and wildly colorful ones.
This being still an Italian Catholic neighborhood, there are lots of odes to God and Country.
There are perfect “secret” gardens.
And my personal favorite, the one that gets me every time:
Eventista Erupts
First off, Eventista apologizes for being AWOL for a bit, she has been in a slight end-of-summer funk, but is coming out of it and is quite grateful for all her readers who clamored for new pontifications. I’ll start today with a fairytale:
A very long time ago in a far away place there was a wee eventette, who was asked to speak at The Special Event Convention. Being immensely flattered and with her ego buoyed by recent career successes (perhaps 15 parties and 8 weddings over 3 years) she jumped at the chance and spent weeks upon end creating spread sheets, hand outs and the like for her prospective audience to teach them the secrets behind her grand career. The big day arrived and she was suddenly on a stage speaking to about 500 professionals in what seemed like Radio City Music Hall. Being young enough to not realize that her being there was absurd at best, (“yes, she was so much older then, she’s younger than that now”), she proceeded to give a rather complicated and circuitous dissertation on budgeting, client relations and other clever concepts that she had clearly pioneered.
Her audience was filled with many real stars of the business who, to her eternal gratitude, were kind enough during question and answers to allow her to preserve her delusions and not eviscerate her (although she did have a sneaking suspicion that perhaps she was outclassed). It is only in retrospect though that she is able to giggle privately about how much she didn’t know, and wonder why in the world, people would have come to hear her speak so many moons ago?….
Eventista’s mailbox these days is cluttered with very creative emails offering a variety of courses GUARANTEED to make one a zillionaire in the special events and/or wedding industry. From tele-sessions a la “The Secret”, BELIEVE IT AND IT WILL HAPPEN (quaint), to a course promotion I received yesterday, billing itself as a “University” for both wedding planning pros AND brides- how very ecumenical.
Suffice it to say that Eventista cannot say with conviction that all of these seminars are worthless (and, full disclosure, my dear friend Marcy is speaking at Engage 09 The Encore so you might feel there is a conflict of interest here). I am only strongly suggesting that before you spend your hard-earned or inherited cash, you do your due diligence as to who is offering these courses/get rich quick schematics (how many events have they planned or what is their business background?, years in business, clientele? etc.) There is plenty to be said about attending a new age-y conference just for the sheer motivating essence of it (Eventista is particularly fond of, and has benefited greatly from, Anthony Robbins seminars around the country). Just be sure that you have a clear idea of what you expect to get out of your investment of both time and money.
Something else is on my mind today as well; the subtle yet very real differences between arrogance and confidence.
There is no question that great confidence (at least outwardly) is a necessary facet of marketing one’s business. Arrogance, however, is something else again. I have read several interviews with well known and succesful pros in our business who repeat ad nauseum the clever sound bite that “they couldnt find anyone in the wedding business who was creative enough or had real vision so they had to go into business.” It’s almost as if it’s a public service really, virtually a not for profit….
This is not only insulting to the masses of extraordinarily talented and visionary people in the event business but patently untrue- they went into business to make money, which is just fine (but that doesn’t make a great sound bite)…
I’ll post later this week some of the best doozies from clients that were sent our way, there are some good ones!
Do you believe in magic? Part 2 of 2
Okay let’s get back to talking about conjuring magic of all sizes and shapes . We recently had the pleasure of creating a celebration commemorating the birthdays of both a mother and her son. Let’s just say the total of their years gave us the perfect theme- late 1960s-197o (ish)- how delighted I was to celebrate Woodstock’s 40th and get paid for it. While it certainly was not an inexpensive party by any “real world” standards, it was still to be funky, low key and not to be perceived as over the top (first time you are hearing this, right?), particularly because half of the guests were in their early 20s. So, the challenge was how to subtly yet smashingly (and without resorting to illegal substances) make this party playful and sexy for two very different groups of guests. Obviously, it had to start with the guests being into it . The invitation advised them to dress “circa 1970″ and, on the back, gave them some clues by listing the zillions of groovy, bizarre or impactful events that had taken place that year from the premiere of All In The Family to the First Earth Day to the opening of Disney in Orlando.
The client had chosen an exquisite restaurant, but it was way too big for the amount of guests, so we had to figure out how to keep it from looking like a furniture warehouse- we decided to empty it and use it as a huge loft with posters and bean bags.
The entrance way was a good opportunity to set the tone simply and graphically-a bead curtain and a Happy Birthday gobo in “R Crumb”ish script did the trick:
The perfect welcome drink- tequila sunrises
Claire Bean Design created the floral renditions of iconic posters and Matt Murphy (both of East Hampton) did the beautious lighting.
Peace sign projection on sailboat in the bar
A retro hors d’oeuvres spread included fondue (although I may have been the only person who realized it was tongue in cheek, but it amused me) but the most important magical touch was my personal favorite- the hippie ducks- lined up on the bar (reminded me of former boyfriends):
Do you believe in magic? …Part 1 of a 2 part post
Today I’m chatting with you about magic. It occurs to me that those of us who work in events make J.K. Rowling look like an amateur. Parties, just like restaurants, can either soar or sink. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic to doom a party; the bride doesn’t have to fall down the stairs during the ceremony, the band leader doesn’t have to be slurring, it’s something transcendental and, if you are a pro, or even an inveterate party goer, you know it when it happens.
Recently, I was fascinated by an article in the New York Times about Graydon Carter and how he works on the seating of his two very HOT restaurants, Waverly Inn and The Monkey Bar. While the reporter was intrigued with the psychological issues prompting Mr. Carter to act as “puppet master”, I knew that he was on the wrong track. I thought, no, that isn’t what juices this very powerful editor of Vanity Fair, it was clear to me that he was just one of us and what he got his kicks from, each and every evening, was painstakingly and methodically making magic.
We often talk of the “WOW” moment, and so many of my clients over the years have emphasized the importance of their guests walking into their wedding or soiree and just being blown away by the beauty of it. They want their jaws to drop, and this is certainly not to be dismissed as a precious part of the whole equation. Truthfully though, if there aren’t talented wizards at work with a template of all the enchanted moments that can and will be conjured up, a drop dead gorgeous room or a gigunda centerpiece can get old pretty fast…
This is where the most talented among us really shine, this is the nitty gritty of our business; the sorcery that helps us decide who this particular crowd is and what sort of music is playing for them as guests arrive, where do they get their first drink, who is making a toast or a speech and for how long (and who should be banned from approaching the mic), what is the emergency procedure for a lull on the dance floor (I’m infamous for sending gorgeous bouncy Lea, my second-in-command, and her crew out on the dance floor as shills), what works as a surprise and what might be too jarring, how are the guests leaving and what is their last memory of the evening? This list is just a smidgen of the ingredients in the potion, and, as we all know too well- there are no recipes because the variables change each time.
Here’s the bottom line though, and I honestly believe this, those of us who are worth our salt, and there are certainly plenty, got into this whacko world for that very reason- we had delusions of being Merlin or Glinda. The pay off is that sometimes, when the moon is in the right place and mercury is not retrograding, we can get pretty damn close!
Eventista elucidates
I’m compiling a compendium of favorite quotes from event and wedding clients and would dearly love to include some of yours. Please send your doozies to info@adventuresofwedhead.com. Quotes must be verifiable as being, unfortunately, real.
I’ll start you off:
Bride presents planner with a photo of a wedding she ABSOLUTELY adores. In the photo are red floral centerpieces, red linens and chair back covers, red candles, and a red crystal chandelier hanging from a red draped ceiling. “Oh,” the planner says “we can definitely do this, not a problem at all, I just had no idea that you loved red so much.” Blank look from bride followed by, “No, I don’t want it in RED.”
Wealthy groom to planner upon seeing hotel estimate for food and beverage: “You obviously don’t get it, rich people don’t pay full price.”
Socialite upon receiving planner’s fee: “Who do you think you are, Robert Israel?”
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***From My Over and Out posting- a few of you were confused by my obviously too obscure allusion to the “de rigeur wedding shoe photo.” I was referring to the absurd popularity of a photo of the bride’s Jimmy Choos, or Manolos sitting in the dappled sunlight before she puts them on, somehow I’ve missed the romantic aspect of this.
Wedhead waxes about rehearsal dinners….
I just love the idea of everyone getting together before the wedding and I know it can sometimes be so darn expensive, but I’ve got to say that I really do think that if you invite guests from far away to your wedding, you do need to invite them to some sort of night before festivities. One way to do this if you really want a smaller dinner is to invite everyone else to a welcome cocktail party before the dinner OR (and this works even better) to host a dessert party after the dinner where bride, groom and everyone who was at the rehearsal dinner joins up with the other guests (I personally know that Marcy was so insulted she was invited to a wedding in California without being invited to any event the night before that she declined the wedding invite).
Some Tips
Assign someone to M.C. the dinner-you know how cute and clever all those drunk groomsman think they are after a few shots. The anecdotes about the grooms former girlfriends or strange hobbies are less likely to surface if the mc informs everyone before what they can say and how long they have. Now, of course it helps if the M.C. is witty and charming (and Marcy always thinks it’s a good job for someone who is feeling a little left out).
Rehearsal dinners are great ice-breakers for the wedding and they are even more fun if you create a theme or even just a dress code for them that is lighthearted. I’m all about whimsy and my experience as a guest has been that we do all get into it IF everyone is in it together. I’ve been asked to wear some yellow to an “Evening in Provence” rehearsal dinner (and it was a beautious photo op), here is an Indian rehearsal dinner done by Marcy and team (the groom was Indian, the bride American) where the guests were sent the URLs where they could buy saris or churtas and were offered to take their pick of bracelets when they arrived.
The pristine white loft was fitted with an elaborate Indian patterned floral DJ booth by Preston Bailey Designs and danced to tunes spun by the amazing DJ Rehka who rocked the party with Bangara hip-hop.
Pay attention to the seating- whether you want to mix it up so that people are forced to make new friends (put all the table numbers in a fish bowl and ask everyone to pick) or use place cards and make certain that everyone is seated next to different people than they will be seated next to at the wedding. This also can be a way for the bride and groom to honor their parents by sitting with them the “night before” and get out of sitting with them at the wedding.
Lastly, if the pre-wedding dinner guest list is small, you might decide to treat yourselves and your guests to some extravagances you might not consider for a large wedding- at a rehearsal dinner in Nantucket the groom served some of his precious red wine in Jeroboams and the guests lingered in a beautiful tent on the water.
