2010, A Space Odyssey
Unlike cooking or auto mechanics or painting by numbers, there are no templates for creating a party.
There are so many not-so-obvious elements that make an event either crackle with electricity or die a slow death. One of these is the usage of space. I take a perverse and rebellious pleasure in attempting to re-envision venues in new ways, particularly when the catering director patiently explains how “it’s always done” with the ceremony here and 8, 60-inch rounds there, blah, blah, blah….When we work at homes or spaces that have never been used before, it’s my equivalent of tight rope walking (and I am pretty afraid of heights) – a mixture of sheer delight and horrendous nausea.
It’s not about inventing something just for the thrill of it – like any cliche, there’s a reason that venues have been set up the way they have since Fred and Wilma Flintstone’s wedding – it works. But, does it work in the very best way possible for this event, this client?
The caveat is, if you want to try something new, you had better be very vigilant in using the tools available to make sure it’s gonna fly: CAD or SketchUp or any number of possible programs, and that’s just the first step. An anecdote to illustrate (you know I love these):
Recently, while designing a wedding ceremony on a rooftop, we were undecided as to what would work best. The bride wanted it facing one way, we had some other ideas and the hotel had always set the chairs in another. We had walked it through enough times to make me sick of the setting, and measured and CAD planned it down to the millismidgens. BUT it was only when I sat there two days before the wedding at the precise time the ceremony would be taking place, that I realized none of this mattered, because the angle of the sun at that hour with the placement we were considering would have crisply roasted the bride, groom and all the guests in the first ten rows – obviously, we reconfigured it.
Having done this as long as I have, I’ve gotten pretty good at imagining what could work and how many people might fit comfortably in a space, or if a ceremony in the round would be clever and simpatico or if we could get some good drama by hanging the bandstand off of a cliff with the ocean underneath. However, I don’t take anything for granted, even with very sophisticated computer layouts.
So – if you see me crawling along in a silk skirt on a grungy floor with a tape measure in one hand and duct tape and chalk in another, be nice – I’m just double checking.
I’d love to hear about any of your inventive uses of space, of course I WILL “borrow” them, but what are friends for?
A BIG tent, with tables of many different shapes and sizes
Lea and I attempting to figure out a ceremony lay out
Loooong tables were the only possibility in this space
Small space, too many people - we had to do an L shape
Bailey&Blum&blushing with pride
It’s always seemed to me that the absolute best scenario in this life is to actually make some money while doing something you enjoy that at the same time does good for others. Well, unless you are ten years old or under and reading this, you realize that this “perfect storm” type of work happens rather infrequently. Yes, yes, I know that wedding planning can fall into that category, but it’s a bit of a stretch to frame it that way.
Bailey&Blum, the weekend intensive on wedding and event design and planning that my friend Preston Bailey and I created this spring, was one of those rare experiences. Both Preston and I are at our best in this intimate format (under 30 attendees), and we were able to connect with our ’students’ in a very unusual way. So much so, that the letters and photographs we received afterwards just blew us away.
One in particular- a work of art with so much heart infused in it that it made my cynical self weep when it arrived- was a scrapbook of the weekend put together by one of the group, event planner Deborah Dixon, some pages are shown here.
So, we have decided to do it again- it’s August 6-8- and we have poured ourselves into planning an amazing weekend agenda. Take a look at www.baileyandblum.com and consider joining us. Yes, it’s really worth it…
The Independence Party
Just in time for July Fourth, I offer you some visuals from a party we conceived and styled for Hamptons Magazine. I really am not enamored of the soooo boring, traditional and over done to the point of making one’s eyes hurt, red, white and blue mish-mosh decor for the Fourth. In addition, as patriotism itself has been appropriated by the right side of our fair nation, I wanted to make a point, that the real essence of what Independence Day is about lies within the Declaration of Independence, not at Tea Party rallies. I know, I know, no politics in a party blog- but really, if you can make a point you feel intensely about, and still have a fabulous event without it being nauseatingly didactic, isn’t that the best of both worlds?
Concept was cocktails before the fireworks, for a few reasons: not so much fuss for the host, people can bring their families, leave and go watch the fireworks and the host can then actually have a relaxing dinner out or in with just a few people. The design entailed three distinct table set-ups, each it’s own solid block of color, including the food as much as possible (quite a challenge I’m sure you can see) including things like endive with anchovies, fresh strawberries, blue potato chips, deviled eggs, and fondue served from a jolly blue pot.
Our clever designer BDUB designed the pennants as a back drop to the scene and teeny, weeny adorable flags for drinks and hors d’oeuvres, each printed with liberty, equality, freedom, etc (you get the idea).
Pretty, festive, fun and not an immigration argument in sight. Enjoy your celebrations my friends!
The "white" accoutrements from local Hamptons shops
The white (and off-white) table
The red table
The blue table - including coconut water for rapid hydration on hot summer days
Endive with whitefish
Picks doubled for cocktails and hors d'oeuvres
In Defense of Brides vs Bridezillas
For those who are etymologists, I seem to remember (I’m sure you will correct me if I’m wrong) that Stacy Morrison, then the editor of Modern Bride, came up with the word. She wanted to run a hysterically funny cartoon series featuring Bridezilla as the main character, but the publisher was way too nervous at the time and, thinking readers would rebel, refused to run it.
Personally, I’ve never really been too keen on the term as 1. I just don’t think any sane, decent person all of a sudden morphs into a monster ONLY because she’s getting married and 2. because what a surprise, no term for difficult grooms? I’ve always suggested Groomensteins, but it never caught on…
The abundance of dumb, trashy and melodramatic shows around weddings has contributed to the caricature of the bride as a giant, insatiable, bulldozer whose only vocabulary consists of “I want” and whose only other forms of communication are crying, foot-stamping, tantrum-throwing and generally being extraordinarily nasty to everyone around them. Here’s the glitch: how about perfectly lovely women who have a very specific idea of their taste and style, know very well what they like and what they don’t, and may just have a few ideas that complicate things, but they really, really want them, does that make them monstrous? Isn’t there a bit of the classic confusion at work here, ie. strong woman = bitch?
Two anecdotes to illustrate:
Many years ago I planned a wedding in Central Park at The Boathouse, where the bride had chosen the space because she had a fantasy of arriving via gondola on the lake with her father. I think it’s far less complicated to arrange now, but then it was a major ordeal. Her parents, the banquet manager, her fiance – all were intent on convincing her that it was a waste of time and energy to continue trying to make it happen after we ran into some difficulties. This is a very lovely women we are talking about, really a doll, but she had her heart set on this midsummer night’s dream arrival, and I felt, as her advocate, that it was my job to make it happen. Eventually we prevailed, and pulled it off. She was incredibly grateful, feeling that we were co-conspirators in saving her dream.
Recently, a delicious couple we are working with was choosing between a classic, traditional venue and a downtown loft space. The bride knew from the start what she wanted, that despite all the usual arguments: Will you look back and regret it in 10 years.. Most of her family and friends have had traditional weddings.. The classic venue has an iconic name that resonates with people.. She deeply wanted a very different sort of wedding, and she stuck to her guns. She did it gracefully, politely and lovingly, not a smidge of a ‘zilla in sight, and her fiance and family correctly decided the venue was far more important to her than it was to them – so they acquiesced.
The point to all this? The opposite of a Bridezilla is not a dishrag, it’s a woman who has opinions and grace in equal measure.
A Matter of Taste
In the beginning, there were banquet menus – “You want the prime rib? $20 dollars per person extra.. or you can do the chicken they served at the Hackenshlafer wedding, it’s all inclusive”.
Yes, so quaint…
As I’ve often shared, when I attended the Culinary Institute of America, most of the students had the choice of enrolling in either an auto mechanics program or cooking school to stay out of a juvenile detention center.
Now of course, the world is populated with foodies and celebrity chefs, everyone I encounter has an excruciatingly specific knowledge of the differences between sauteeing and pan frying, and are more than happy to share it with me. For our purposes here, I’m going to stick to designing menus for weddings and other social events.
I’ll go on record that I agree with the majority of caterers who won’t do a formal tasting before they have the job. Of course there can be mitigating circumstances where I’ll ask for just that, but for the most part I feel it’s like asking me to do a mini party gratis as an audition (guess my answer?).
The point of a tasting is to suss out what actually can be served, what works together and to try items that have at least an approximation of the look and taste they will have AT THE EVENT.
So, what else can I share with you about tastings?
A tasting SHOULD be:
- A chance for the hosts, event producer and catering person in charge to bond and get a clue into each others tastes and style (with lots of chances for you to get insights that have nothing to do with food). This is the FUN part and should be treated that way, but take good notes.
- A time to assess how many pig products one can rationally serve at one meal or to debate the nuances of “kosher style”.
- Hopefully, a wine tasting (mood-enhancing), even if it’s not the specific wine you will eventually serve, you should come up with something that complements the meal at a price point that makes sense for this specific client.
- An opportunity to marvel at the clever and beauteous ways that the caterer (or restaurant/banquet staff) has designed the various plates.
What a tasting SHOULDN’T BE:
- A time for the chef to show that he can cook risotto for four people in his restaurant kitchen (we kind of already assume that) – but a time to address how it might be done for 200 guests on buffet lines.
- The time for the event producer to pontificate on a meal at Per Se (unless of course the tasting is at Per Se) and for her to supply Mr. Keller’s a la minute recipe to be replicated for a birthday party in a field for 2000.
- A haphazard (“oh, great, we have to do a tasting” sort of thing,) where it’s rote, and the clients are expected to just sign off on everything and go their merry way. If the food is wrong – too salty, unattractive or just plain misconstrued for the event – then there has to be another tasting, because (as we are all painfully aware) chances are pretty good, the foods not going to get any better “day of”.
Some shots from a real-live hors d’oeuvres tasting with the marvelous Olivier Cheng Catering and their Chef Jennie (note all the pens on the table)..
Ceci n’est pas un cigare…
Last week a zillion of us industry folk were invited to a blow-out event for Creative Edge Parties’ 20th anniversary. While all sorts of merriment and corporate espionage ensued, that isn’t the topic of this post. The topic today is Trompe L’oeil, and how it can be used so wonderfully at events.
The appetizer course was a tomato tartar, that looked in every way as if it were a steak tartar. The consistency, color (with capers visible in the mix), and even topped with a “raw” egg blew us all away when we tasted and realized it was in fact, as advertised, all vegetarian. Clever, simple, delicious and chat provoking. It made me think of a fabulously fun meal that we had at Moto in Chicago last year where the chef’s intent is brain twisting, and he’s really, really good at it; the “cigar with ashtray” on the menu is actually a Cuban beef roll, and the menu itself is printed on something that tastes exactly like a tortilla chip and you are encouraged to eat it, after reading it, along with the wonderful guacamole that is placed at your table.
Sometimes a cigar isn't - cuban beef at Moto
When utilized by someone with artistic restraint, these kinds of sensory tricks amuse and engage guests. Thrillist last week featured a company called style-your-door.com that sells photo film images for closets. The images, which you cut and paste to the outside of closet doors are, because of the process, incredibly realistic- how cool would this be on an otherwise blah closet door in a hallway?
…and of course, we have all seen fabulously realistic murals and faux finishes in peoples homes done by commissioned artists.
I am scheming as to how these could be incorporated into tent decor…
…these are from an artist, J Cochran.
So, I’ve been thinking, wouldn’t it be fun to do a party where nothing is as it seems (I mean even more so than usual)? Now, I have to find the right client…
Real Simple’s 15 Minutes and You’re Done
I was asked several months ago if I would be one of the presenters for Real Simple Magazine’s 10th Anniversary Celebration that was held in Vanderbilt Hall at Grand Central Station last week. The concept was for each presenter to provide “various tips and tricks for people to simplify their lives” and and it was titled “15 minutes and You’re Done”. I was in rather rarefied company; everyone from Norma Kamali to David Burke demonstrated how easily they could pretty much do anything.
My inclusion in this struck me as pretty hilarious, considering I specialize in making things complicated personally and working on things that are absurdly complicated professionally, but how could i refuse – really?
It turned out to be a very good exercise in distilling the essence of home entertaining for a specific audience. I offered my ideas on what to have as your “par stock” or basics at hand, if you decide at 4 in the afternoon that you’d like to have some guests for dinner or drinks at 7 that night. The list follows, now maybe I might consider using it…
*a floral knife- there is no substitute for this dangerously sharp implement (this way you can pick up flowers from the corner market on the way home and arrange them sort of artfully)
*a selection of vases
*a table runner and or placemats (saves the pain of ironing a cloth as the doorbell is ringing)
*a lucite pitcher and glasses- festive and unbreakable, really useful if you have outdoor space- we like this one
*ingredients for a Sangria (no recipe necessary just taste and test-lemonade, white wine, juice, fruit, whatever)
*some good quality frozen hors d’oeuvres
*an assortment of candles- both LED and wax
*a programmed iPod on the ready
I’m curious, what items do you keep on hand in case you want to entertain? (Lingerie is not an acceptable response, by the way.)
David Burke on the BIG stage
Lea and I posing before the crowd surrounds us
All photos taken by our amazing blog designer and chronicler, Bridget Williams, bdub-ny.com
Breakfast in bed for 275 please…
I recently worked with a couple who had an aversion to the “next day brunch”. I have to admit after listening to them describe it - “everyone is hungover and has dragged themselves out of bed to see the bride looking less pretty than she did the night before and the recycled flowers looking mostly dead” – I could see their point.
They did, however, have a lot of out-of-town guests and I always feel that when you drag people to your wedding far far away, it does behoove you to host them for their entire stay.
We came up with a really wonderful solution (and with creative ideas being harder and harder to come by these days, I was truly delighted when this one popped up in the middle of the night).
We decided to build a “Breakfast to Go” bar, a combination of party favor and the makings of Sunday morning breakfast in bed. We offered organic bloody mary mix with mini iced vodka bottles, and Illy Cappuccino in the can on ice as well. Guests could choose an assortment of the best New York has to offer of bagels (Murray’s), donuts (Donut Plant), pain au chocolat, croissants and brioche (Balthazar), with an assortment of jams, butter and cream cheese and have it all packed up for them in an insulated bag by cheerful and model-y waitstaff. You’ve got to admit, makes you re-think brunch the day after, doesn’t it?
And they all left happily ever after…
Eventista here, and I’ve had endings on my mind a lot of late (no, not of the romantic sort).
When I was a baby eventiste, I worked in a restaurant for a gentlemen who was obsessed with all of us saying “good night” and “thank you” whenever a guest left. It was so ingrained in us that often to this day, and to my companions’ severe embarrassment, I’ll say it to people leaving a restaurant where I am dining. Turns out maybe my boss wasn’t that crazy after all.
In Tom Peter’s wonderful new book, The Little Big Things (he also wrote the pivotal In Search Of Excellence in 1982), he cites results from a study by a Nobel prizewinner about our memories and how selective they are, “No matter how extended an event (party, commercial transaction), we form our view and make our evaluation based – with dramatic skew – on the most intense moments and the final moments.”
Mr. Peters continues that hard data supports this “final moment” evidence: “We might attend a brilliant four-hour dinner party, yet three months later only remember that two guests exchanged heated remarks on the way out.”
Wow! Think of the implications to us in the event world if it’s true that a sub-standard dessert can take down an entire five-star dining experience. It means that an extravagant party favor given to a departing guest would mean very little, if minutes later they can’t get their car out of the lot or the garage attendant is surly. It means that no matter how breathtakingly beautiful the ceremony was, if the exit from the wedding many hours later takes guests through the same room, but now it’s half broken-down and the busboys are having dinner there, that’s the image that will remain.
The same boss would never let us strip a tablecloth until the very last guest had left the dining room. It used to drive us all batty, particularly when it was in the wee hours of the morning and we knew that by then they were so loaded we could have put the tablecloths on their heads and they wouldn’t have known the difference. In retrospect, maybe he was right about that too.
Do you pay as much attention to the end of an event as you do to the beginning?
Salesmanship 101- Sell the sizzle (even if you dont have a steak)
On site visits with a bride last week (never been one of my favorite parts of the gig, but she is lovely and it’s always educational), I was absolutely dumbfounded by the disparity of the “sales” people we met with. I’m talking spiffy, expensive places, you realize.
At a big, fancy schmancy, old school hotel, (which I thought would be too traditional for this couple but wanted them to see) someone came in on their day off to meet with us.
He was engaged, engaging, honest about the shortcomings of the venue and seemed really excited to give us all the tour (Academy Award-worthy, I know, but he had me). He was even bizarrely gleeful about the new photos that he had taken of the various spaces. He chatted about new menus and food ideas, showed off the china and silver, was truly charm personified. No question that even though it’s unlikely we would choose the space for THIS event, we will absolutely think about using it for something else. And more important: all of us with our big mouths will talk about the obvious change in attitude there and how they have really stepped up their game- get it?
At a well known and very “fabulous” banquet space (which I deemed appropriate solely for the reception), we were greeted by a porter with “you have appointment?” When the banquet person appeared (someone I’ve known for ages), he was fine- just fine- ran through the gamut of, “How many guests?” yawn, “What season?” yawn, “Typically 3 courses, 4 hours, we put the ceremony there, turn the room..” yawn. Me now, “Oh, as I said before we don’t like to turn rooms, we will be having the ceremony elsewhere if we book here.” Him again, “Hmm, well everybody just puts the ceremony there, I mean, why schlep around? Anyway, stage goes there,” yawn, “30 rounds of 8 or 10..” yawn. And finally, “Hey, remember the Schwartzbaum wedding? You speak to them?”
Get the picture? This is someone who I know knows better- he’s just had it currently. Maybe the recession with too many couples visiting without booking, but, guess what? His narcoleptic selling style can’t be helping.
Last anecdote- We also visited a very sexy, very expensive and very unusual space where we had previously worked with great difficulty. Apparently my complaints had reached someone (you all know how shy I am) and they sent a new emissary to regale us. She was elegant, sweet and smart and SO HAPPY to see us and when the dates we wanted were booked, she checked on others post haste and then e-mailed us immediately with the possible openings. Did she make me forget how they tortured us last time? Not exactly, but it sure went a long way.
So darlings, what have we learned here?
*In case you have forgotten, you are first and foremost a sales person and you had better be a skilled one.
*You are marketing to every person at each meeting- NOT just the client, but the planner, the babysitter, the brother-in-law along for the ride- all are possible brand ambassadors OR brand tramplers.
*If you are tired, take a break or at least fake it.
Any thoughts?
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